Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Interpersonal conflicts between people are a fact of life and it is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, a relationship with frequent conflicts may be healthier than one with no observable conflicts. When a conflict occurs, the bond may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, a conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship or a friendship. Conflicts can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, conflicts can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. Whether a relationship lasts or not depends not so much on the number of conflicts between participants, but on how the conflicts are resolved. I have done various group projects with people from all walks of life and characters. All the group members might not look at the same angle when deciding the theme for the project.

There was an incident when I had to do a project with a good friend of mine. Since he was a good friend of mine, I really thought the project would be smooth sailing without any problems but I was wrong. We couldn’t see eye to eye on many issues which led to many differences between us. We approached the project the way we are as friends and not as group members doing a project together. We discussed the project like the way we spoke to each other. This led to many disagreements between us. So how did I resolve this conflict between us?

The problem occurred when we failed to use cooperative approaches consistently in our discussions with each other. To prevent it from happening again, it was important to identify the ways in which I contributed to the disagreement. One way which I thought of doing this was to identify a specific, recent conflicted situation, recall what I said, and then think specifically about how I could have used more effective language. Then I realized I could have used different words to express my ideas instead of stressing on it. I then explained to my friend about the way we interact with each other. He too then realized it and it was smooth sailing from then onwards.

ES2007S - Effective Communication Skills

Communication is the process of passing information or an interchange of thoughts, ideas and feelings in an understandable way. Communication in a proper way is the path to forge proper relationships and friendships. It has helped me to prevent disagreements and misunderstandings.

There are two types of communication skills. One is to speak and the other is to listen. When I speak, I make sure that I am clear and loud so that every single word is understood. I also make sure I have a proper body language and my choice of words must be very professional and respectful towards the other party as effective communication is also about how you portray your body movements and use them to express or state your point.

I also try not to be long winded and monotonous. I get to the point immediately and take a conscientious effort in making sure that I maintain eye contact all the time as such skills are needed to ensure the other person's attention is attained when you are expressing yourself. These skills are also part of effective communication.

When I listen, I try to see their point of view. In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood.Thus effective communication is important so that the other person's view is heard and he/she feels involved in the conversation.This will also ensure they will have a conversation with you again in the future .

I stay focused when I listen. I make sure that I do not think of anything else other than listening carefully when the person speaks to me. People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. This has to be avoided at any time when we listen. Effective communication is about being spontaneous as well as being careful/thoughtful when communicating. Thus gaining the skills necessary for effective communication is important for an individual....it lasts a lifetime and makes sure you have fulfilling and lifetime relationships with people despite what the future may hold for you....